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September 10, 2009

Mauri Ora Fathers’ Circle September 2009

One of us has changed schools for an early teenage daughter. This was a tough decision as they had been in a new, local school, it was a forward thinking school with no PE, community projects etc, but their child was quite academic, didn’t seem to be getting enough stimulation or challenge, has moved to school further away, Dad is now taxi man too, but it seems worthwhile so far.

One of us knows a ‘Rigger’ who has travelled the world, working on high rise building projects and wants to introduce this sort of trade training in to NZ schools. We all lamented the lack of woodwork/metalwork/home economics nowadays.

One of us had children in trouble at school recently, followed mates to shops instead of school, one of them was caught shoplifting, not the first time. We understand that kids get distracted, we only hope that they learn these lessons while they’re young and what is right and wrong.

We appreciated the influence of sport on our children, especially once they take it seriously, opportunities for travel and professional careers are fantastic, but they need to learn about life balance too especially the prospect of injuries, or depression if the career path does not eventuate.

We talked about how it is true that it takes a community to raise good children, but that is not always all that’s needed, in some cases that implies that the parents are excused, in reality the parents are vital and mustn’t neglect kids.

One of us, caught between his children and a wife who wants to move to Nelson to be nearer her family, was reminded that there is free counselling and mediation available from the Family Court, if they had not already. These sessions apparently start with separate interviews, then they see each couple together, hoping to avoid court, plus that if you get a good mediator/counsellor, it’s great!

We talked about how it is normal for relationships to go up and down, especially around childbirth. Fathers need to be sensitive to the changes mothers go through.

We also talked about the agony of knowing that if you leave, or your children are led to believe that’s what happened, it can leave a bad memory or cause trouble later.

Father & Child News