How Old Do You Have to Be?

by Jonathan Young

Someone asked me the other day “when do you stop walking around in front of your kids in your underwear”.  The answer’s simple… “When either you, or they, feel uncomfortable”…. Or when you go outside.

I’ve done a bit of research on legal ages for things in New Zealand, and discovered that there’s a lot of conflicting information on the internet.  There are also many odd laws in New Zealand about what your kids can and can’t do. 

You can’t really do anything until you’re 14.  Oddly enough, the age that you can be left alone at home, is also the age that you’re supposedly responsible enough to look after other kids.  It’s also the age to buy fireworks.  Is that wise? 

Make sure you don’t kill anyone with the fireworks though, because you can be prosecuted for murder or manslaughter at 10. 

At ‘any age’ you can get information about contraception, get contraception, use contraception, and even have an abortion.  However, you can’t have sex until you’re 16. 

I guess there’s also a lot of “I didn’t do that when I was your age” going on.  I grew up with the impression that my mother was some kind of angel.  She was never naughty, never got told off, was never rude, always tidied her room etc. 

It was only when I was a little bit older that I started to wonder if all of these things were true… considering she was pregnant at 16. 

At 17 you can join the Army, Navy or Airforce.   Now obviously you’re not responsible enough to vote for another year, but you can shoot people with guns and tanks.  If you shoot someone and you’re not in the military, you can also be tried as an adult in district court (rather than youth court). 

Alcohol is a funny one.  At ‘any age’ you can be given alcohol by your parent or legal guardian at home, in most pubs, or pretty much anywhere else. 

You can also be served alcohol at a ‘private function’ at someone’s house.  This is sure to be the downfall of more than one 15th birthday party. 

18 is the magic age for most things.  As well as getting drunk in a pub without your mum or dad, getting addicted to cigarettes and voting; you can get a tattoo without anyone else’s consent.  This law needs to be changed!  Before anyone of any age gets a tattoo, they should consult with a psychic. 

I’ve met too many people with tattoos of somebody’s name who they’d rather forget.  You should NEVER get a tattoo of your favourite singer or rock band.  How many grown men can’t go swimming now because they’ve got a Kylie Minogue tattoo? 

We all remember our parents (or grand parents) hugging or kissing us at inappropriate times in front of inappropriate people. 

So at what age do you stop hugging or kissing your kids good-bye?  The answer to this is simple.  You don’t!  It merely changes from an exchange of emotion, to a threat or a punishment.

Legally, you can do pretty much anything at 20 (except adopt a child that isn’t related to you).  In reality, you should be 20 before you’re allowed a car stereo.

Nobody under the age of 25 should be allowed to comment on my jeans.  These people are always wrong.  One will say they’re too flared, one will say they’re too tight; one will say they’re too old fashioned, and another will say I’m too old to wear jeans like that. 

I’m wondering if evolution will eventually move humans hips lower so that they’re pants don’t fall down so often.

For more information on legal ages in New Zealand, check out www.cab.org.nz, but you might also want to google legal ages, because there’s lots of contradictory information out there.
 
 

Next: Parenting: Achievement

How to Spy on Your Kids

by Jonathan Young

Working with teenage dads I get calls from parents wanting to know what their sons have been doing. Since the girlfriend is pregnant, you would think it wasn’t too tricky to tell.

If you want to know what your teenagers are doing there are several sneaky things that you can do to find out, and for God’s Sake don’t let them know how you did it!

And do not say you heard any of this from me. You might ruin the tiny bit of street cred that I’ve got left.

1. Bebo, Myspace, Facebook etc.

If you have a computer (and probably even if you don’t) then your kid has a profile on at least one of these social networking sites.

So what is it?

Basically, you (or your kid if you’re not cool enough) sets up a webpage all about themselves. It will usually include pictures, what school they go to, and how dumb the place they live is. You add your friends, and it’s kind of like a competition to see who can get the most friends and have the coolest page. Now… here comes the good bit:

Members can write ‘blogs’ which is kind of like a diary. Their friends can also write comments on their page. It’s kinda like text messaging, but is often done on the main page so that anyone looking at the page can read the messages. You can then click on links to your kid’s friend’s pages and see what your kid has said to them. More than one party has been destroyed this way!

If you’re lucky enough, when you go to one of these sites your child will have the computer set to automatically sign them in. If you’re not lucky enough, you can usually find their page by using the search function.

The addresses are www.myspace.com, www.bebo.com, www.facebook.com

2. Mobile Phones

If your teenager doesn’t have a mobile phone you should get them one immediately. Apart from making them look like a dork, you’re also depriving yourself of a valuable snooping tool. You’ll have to wait until your child is unconscious to get anywhere near their phone, but when you do you should write down their friends numbers, after reading the in and out box. Never let your child know that you can work a cellphone. If they think there’s a chance you can read their messages, they’ll delete them straight away.

Also, rather than giving your kid money to put on their phone you can connect it to your homeplan but at the same rates. This means that you can see who they call!

There’s also a bit on the phone where you can see what incoming calls were received.

3. Diaries

Yeah right! If anyone still has a diary, it’s certainly edited to combat the likes of you reading it.

4. Eftpos Cards

Eftpos cards are great, because you can trace through your bank account where they were with your money!

Next: Cartoon Feature

Father & Child and Waipuna Trusts in Christchurch are trialing a couples version of ante-natal and early parenting classes for teen parents.
Teen parents are notoriously missing from the otherwise well-attended and free birth preparation classes run by hospitals and other providers such as Parents Centres. Waipuna has received feedback from young mums that they feel uncomfortable amongst the older parents.
Waipuna is setting up some antenatal classes for teen mums, but is also keen to explore an approach that encourages cooperation between young mums and dads. Teenage dads are not targeted by any teenage ‘parent’ service provider in New Zealand despite research showing their keenness to be involved.
A trial group has been run in March, attended by both expecting couples and couples with a young baby.
Both Waipuna and Father & Child acknowledge that teenage relationships are volatile, however separation should not lead to permanent exclusion of the father from the baby’s life.