Fathers After Separation
By Stuart Birks
An interesting article was published in the May issue of the Journal of Marriage and the Family.
It is by Doherty W J, Kouneski E F and Erickson M F and is called, “Responsible Fathering: An Overview and Conceptual Framework”. While recognising the important contribution fathers can make, it also acknowledges that “substantial barriers stand in the way of active, involved fathering”.
Among these, mention is given to gatekeeping by mothers.
This may be linked to the relationship between the parents, especially if they are separated, but “even within satisfactory marital relationships, a father’s involvement with his children, especially young children, is often contingent on the mother’s attitudes toward, expectations of, and support for the father”.
The authors cite studies indicating that, “many mothers are ambivalent about the fathers’ active involvement with their children”.
By way of explanation, they say that, “active paternal involvement would threaten some women’s identity and sense of control over this central domain of their lives”.
Not surprisingly perhaps, conflict or stress between parents can therefore be a major inhibitor of effective father involvement. As Doherty et al. State, “Research demonstrates the particular vulnerability of fathering to contextual and institutional practices”,
It is encouraging to see specific acknowledgement of this in a report by the Department of Health and Human Services in the U.S.
The report, Non-Custodial Parents’ Participation in Their Children’s Lives: Evidence from the Survey of Income and Program Participation Volume II, was published in August 1996. It recognised, “_ a need for more research on noncustodial fathers — the stresses they face, how they cope, their emotional adjustment, how they feel about changes in their parenting role, and factors that alleviate stresses.”
Several of the DHHS report’s policy recommendations were aimed at reducing stress so as to increase effective parenting by fathers.
There is also need to pay attention to the nature of father involvement, rather than simply following the approach adopted in New Zealand of “enjoyment of access”.
To quote:
“Given that most children desire the continuing presence of a father in their lives and that fathers may disengage from their parental responsibilities in part because they feel no sense of control over the new arrangements, steps should be taken to enable fathers to have a more active post-divorce role.
There will, of course, be cases where this will be impossible because of the inability of the two parents to cooperate, because the father has no interest in remaining involved, or because of a history of past abuse. But, when it is at all feasible, policy should encourage paternal involvement.
♦ Allow paternal role to continue, to the extent possible;
♦ Find ways to allow fathers to have a meaningful role in their children’s lives where they can shoulder some of the responsibility of raising the child;
♦ Find ways to enable non-custodial parents to have some control over child’s life. ”
Should New Zealand follow their lead?
