Father Dave
An icon of New Zealand rock music, Dave Dobbyn is also a proud father. Jonathan Young and Jordan Cairns talked to him about father and celebrity hoods.
Many of us struggle to balance the responsilities of fatherhood. The mixture of providing for and spending time with your children can be tricky for the best of us. The “rock n roll lifestyle” didn’t suit Dave Dobbyn’s style of parenting either.
Dave is undoubtedly a hard working man, but also an incredibly involved father. Dave said he was lucky to have children later in life, as he’d had a chance to establish his career first.
“I had done my time touring for 20 odd years, so I could afford not to spend so much time on the road,” he said.
Dave and his wife Anneliesje are the very proud parents of two children – daughter Grace (13) and son Eli (11).
Although his family aren’t hounded by media like many overseas celebrities, he says that being in the public eye doesn’t change his parenting, but does sometimes affect his children.
“It sometimes affects the kids, because their dad is Dave Dobbyn, and sometimes people are interested in that. The kids still have their own identity, and we do talk about that to make sure they have their own identity”, he said.
Dave had established his career before the arrival of his daughter Grace, but her birth meant that he wanted to do more work on himself as a person. Dave was a heavy drinker, and it was Grace’s entrance that prompted him to stop.
“You realize how much your kids take in, and how it’s affecting them seeing someone stumbling around,” said Dave.
Dave is a committed Christian, and says that his faith has had the biggest impact on his parenting. “I wake up every morning feeling grateful.”
Dave isn’t afraid to be an affectionate father, a trait he says he gained from his own father. He says the biggest difference for his children is that they have more freedom of choice than he did. Although his children have an interest in the arts, he’s not sure if that’s where they’ll make their careers.
Some idea of how Dave Dobbyn has become more than just a rock star in New Zealand was seen when he recently performed at a gifted children’s concert
Surrounded by children, on a makeshift stage in the backyard of the sponsor, Dave Dobbyn was just another happy parent. Before playing he pointed out that for the first time in his career, there was a dog on the piano he was playing.
Anika Moa and several other stars were there too, but it was his songs that had everybody singing along. With songs like Loyal and Beside You, his lyrics are more like a counselling course on how to live life.
At leaving time, when everyone was collecting their kids from the dance area, Dave bumped into a fan who told him those had been the songs he’d grown up to.
As the story goes, Dave then replied: “Yep, those songs grew me too”.
Next: The Montessori Model