Im A Dad, Listen To Me

A Nelson team of a researcher, a field worker and a health professional set out to find out what dads really think about attitudes to fatherhood.

Did you guys out there ever feel that hospitals, Plunket and a lot of other parent places don’t take you all that seriously as parents? Well, you are not alone.

For the first time in New Zealand, the Health Funding Authority funded research that asked dads what they think of such services and how they believe they need to change to attract more fathers.

Research like this may have been long overdue. “From the literature review on fathering it was found that there is a noticeable lack of information to assist in understanding the reality of life for dads” they wrote in their report following their presentation of the results at a Public Health Conference earlier this
year.

The project intended to “give voice” to the experiences of dads, with the researchers providing an environment and process where this dialogue was able to occur.”

They adopted a mixed approach, opting for both questionnaires and focus groups. To their surprise they found that fathers at first had difficulty comprehending that this research was about them. “They [the fathers] answered for their partners and children. It was as though they were quite unused to considering themselves as a valid recipient of support from child and family services.”

Once this hurdle was taken it was all go.

The nearly 140 respondents to the questionnaire considered GPs the most useful health service which they used most often. Antenatal and postnatal services were also often used but scored badly in terms of their usefulness – except for single dads who found i them very supportive. “it seems that when males visit these services as the primary caregiver, hey find the service more supportive”, write the researchers.

In the focus groups the fathers identified the time of the birth as one where they are most in need of support and where services targeted at fathers could be most effective.

The men were generally critical of the father-friendliness of schools, while they were a lot happier with kindies, playcentres or other preschool services. Out of a checklist of 15 barriers experienced with service provision the fathers most often ticked the box next to “understanding and respecting their needs as a dad”.

When asked for suggestions about initiatives to better support fathers the men mentioned parenting information but also times and places where dads can meet with their kids. On a national level, both the survey respondents and the focus groups strongly “voiced a need for awareness raising about the realities of life for dads and parenting.”

One participant said it would be important to become more widely known that men are “just as important” in the parenting role, and solo dads are given the same respect as solo mums. The focus groups especially criticised the role of the media. “Men are often portrayed as the village idiot” one participant said. The men also felt that the real-life experiences of dads are largely untold.

The researchers, who make a point of consistently refering to fathers as “dads”, noted that their experience with the fathers was very different from the image of the unfeeling brutes men are often portrayed as. “The dads found no difficulty at all in sharing a variety of stories and insights. Many of these describing situations of vulnerability and confusion.

This point was made in relation to the experiences of dads generally however the time of childbirth came in
for particular mention”. Another such area was on becoming a stepparent. One of the focus groups consisted entirely of solo fathers and these voiced the need for information about father-friendly lawyers and the legal process in general.

Summarising their research the team wrote, “there were two distinct aims. Firstly to reduce the negative stereotypes and myths surrounding fathering with a focus on the reality of life for dads.

Secondly, to provide a sound education base for dads themselves. There was a strong feeling voiced, especially in the focus groups, that this education and awareness raising should be carried out primarily by dads themselves.

“It is clear that there is an environment of neglect in issues related to men in general and dads in particular. This neglect is even more noticable when it is overlaid with a pervailing attitude that men find it difficult to express emotion and share their concerns with others.

WHen one considers these tensions it makes it extreamly important that service providers, advocates as well as researchers are able to deconstruct these myths and sterotypes and work with and for dads in a manner that is respectful, sensitive and supportive of their unique way of “expressing self.”

The dads in this project have made ot obvious that, given a supportive enviroment, they are quite able, even eager, to share their concerns and hopes.

It is the provision of this supportive environment that is so obviously lacking.”

Next: Researching Men In New Zealand – Whose Voices Are We Hearing?