Christchurch Teen Dads Programme

The teen dads programme in Christchurch started in May 2011, in close collaboration with Waipuna Youth & Community Trust. This is the service description as proposed to the funder (excerpt from the entire proposal):

Aim

A small amount of funding is available through the Ministry of Social Development to provide a service specifically for teenage fathers on an ongoing basis. The Ministry has, in consultation with service providers, developed a resource for service delivery to teen fathers, emphasising an approach that is ‘appropriate to their culture and their age’, acknowledges ‘that, despite obstacles, most teen fathers want to be involved with, and do their best for, their children’ and has a ‘male-focused approach’.

Waipuna and Father & Child also acknowledge that involvement of fathers is a very important part of a child’s development. To get optimal benefits for a child, mothers and fathers need to work together, and the two Trusts believe that this parental cooperation should be encouraged, expected, nurtured and role-modelled by those working with families.

Alignment with Ministry of Social Development guidelines

MSD has published the results of its own consultations with service providers and teenage fathers in the resource ‘Supporting Teen Fathers’, which is the result of a process intended to guide the subsequent funding process.

The two key areas of service delivery described in the resource are ‘providing parenting support to teen fathers’ and ‘supporting teen fathers with other areas of their lives’. Our vision for an ongoing service addresses both these areas.

For parenting support the resource emphasises ‘to address barriers’ by ‘working with fathers and mothers before the birth to address obstacles that hinders fathers’ involvement’, ‘facilitating communication and co-operation between the teen father and the mother of his child’ and ‘providing services on an ongoing basis so they can effectively respond to difficult family situations as they arise rather than being simple one-off inrterventions’ (page 16). It is exactly this kind of co-operative support which is at the heart of our collaboration.

For support in ‘other areas of life’, the resource particularly mentions mentoring, or mentoring principles incorporated within service provision. ‘Supportive mentoring relationships involve developing lasting and supportive bonds with young people’ (page 17). For an ongoing service we envisage such individual mentoring support for a limited number of young men through a Father & Child Trust support/youth worker (see below).

Our proposal also applies the ‘mixed approach’ to service delivery advocated in the resource (page 18) and incorporates one-on-one work, group work and peer support.

What an ongoing service would look like

Enrolment of young parents

Waipuna hosts antenatal classes for young parents, run by the Canterbury District Health Board. Attendance of young fathers in these classes is usually high. This would provide an opportunity to enrol parents in the proposed service very early, and maximise the benefit of the service.

At present, Waipuna enrols young mothers in their services. It is envisaged to add an option which would allow two young parents to enrol jointly. Enrolment in (and provision of) the service will be independent from the relationship status of the two parents, which is likely to change over a period of time.

We would also specifically target the younger parents (i.e. under 20) amongst any suitable candidates, as they are potentially the most vulnerable. They are also often the most open to mentoring – a window of opportunity that tends to close with young males as they approach their 20s.

Working with young parents individually

The majority of the contract amount available ($20,000 p.a.) would go towards the salary of a support or youth worker with Father & Child Trust, who would provide mentoring, support and advocacy for five young men as an ‘active’ caseload, as well as being involved in joint groups as below. Over time, a ‘secondary’ case load will accumulate of young men who have been actively supported initially, where contact is maintained regularly, and who will need intensive case work at times as events develop in their lives (at which stage they will be ‘active’ again).

Waipuna Trust will provide mentoring, support and advocacy for the mothers of the children of the young men as part of their funded services. The youth workers working with the young mothers and fathers will also build a relationship with the respective other parent to foster an environment of trust and cooperation amongst everyone involved. This should also provide a good role model for young parents, as they experience women and men working together for the welfare of families. Whanau or wider family will be involved depending on the individual circumstances of the young parents.

For both, mothers and fathers it is important that they are connected to peers (i.e. other young mothers and fathers) and mentors (older women and men) of their own sex. Individual troubleshooting is often required for situations that impact on the child, but are rooted elsewhere; for example difficulties in the wider family, disconnectedness from education or work, low-level delinquency and other issues. However, a key goal for the parents we work with in this project is to avoid the antagonism that often develops between a young mother and her family and supporters on the one hand, and the young father on the other, by providing accessible communication channels at all times and setting them on the path to work as a team throughout the child’s life.

Working with young parents together

If young women and men are to work together as parents, they must both be given the tools for parenting and also to maintain a cooperative relationship with each other. Therefore all information, education and support related to parenting and relationship issues will be delivered to both parents together.

The remainder of the contract amount not required for teen dads mentoring (and administrative and management support) will go towards running youth-friendly parenting and relationship education, where attendance by both parents is encouraged and, in fact, expected. This may start as an extension from the already mentioned ante-natal classes and, over time, may take the form of more informal ‘informative’ get-togethers over food rather than structured classes. The goal is to help both parents become skilled in parenting so that they can trust and rely on each other when it comes to caring for their child.

Young relationships almost inevitably fall apart, although sometimes this is only temporary. It is during those times where the youth/support workers will help the parents to still try to work together and find arrangements for the child that suits the situation. If we have done a good job in role-modelling and encouraging cooperation and joint responsibilities so far, this should not be as hard as it often is at the moment.

We sincerely hope that this new way of providing services to teen parents will, in the long run, become a model for most publicly funded teen parents services, rather than a specialised service in an otherwise very mother-centred environment. In future, ringfencing funding for teen dads may no longer be necessary as teen ‘parent’ services have become inclusive.

Sharing the experience

There is a need sector-wide for more information about the needs and experiences of teen dads, and their inclusion into the service system. Some work has been done in this area in New Zealand, but this project offers an excellent opportunity to make information about working with teen dads and joint service provision available to a wider audience. Many agencies are thinking about changing practice towards a more inclusive model, but information on how to do so is not readily available. As this service develops and comes of age, our practice, knowledge and experience will improve.

With this in mind, we recommend to provide a small amount of additional funding alongside this service that would allow us to run seminars, talks and workshops for others working in this area.

Forgotten Families

Not all ‘solo parents’ are female—there are more than 20,000 dads in New Zealand who raise their children mostly on their own.
We know nothing about this family type. Father & Child has now made a start and released a study on fathers who raise young children entirely on their own.
By Harald Breiding-Buss

If there’s one family type that you well and truly never hear about, it’s single fathers. So convinced is Society of Dad’s somewhat peripheral provider role that we simply assume that every time parents break up the children will go with mum.

Yes, we’ve all heard that dads are more involved now, often even equally sharing care after the split. But singlehandedly raising a baby with mum nowhere in sight? That’s got to be very rare, isn’t it?

All we can say is that this family type exists. Census data tells us that about 17% of all single parent households are headed by a male. For households with children under five this figure is around 10%. But the Census definition of ‘single parent’ is notoriously flawed. It does not tell us anything about the child’s actual living arrangements at all, or how much time the child really spends with each parent.

At Father & Child we’ve seen fathers raising young children by themselves almost from day one. The absence of any information about this family type has always been a stumbling block for some of our work. We never really knew how we can serve these families best, how we reach them, how we get others to reach them, what they want and really need.

Now we have made a start. With the publication of our Dependent on Dad study New Zealand now has at least this one piece of research enquiring into this family type. Apart from a review of census data in 1999 it is the only one ever done.

We have by no means solved the mystery of solo fathers with this small exercise, comprising 13 solo fathers all with children eight or under (and six of them with children three or under). And while the results are quite consistent with what we are seeing in our daily practice, there were some surprises, some pleasant, some not so.

Somehow, we had caught a really young sample. The average age of becoming a father for the dads in our study was only 24, and a quarter were merely teenagers when their offspring was released from the motherly womb. This alone casts doubts on a stereotype I have encountered over the years, that solo dads are of the more mature type.

What’s more, for a very high percentage there has been little choice in the matter for the dads; Child Youth and Family had become involved and determined that the mother was unsuitable as a caregiver. About a third of these young men had been faced with the choice of stepping up to it or have their child put into permanent foster care. Their own background was usually anything but settled or ‘mature’: There was a high ratio of criminal convictions amongst these dads, low income, early school drop-out: you name it.

Not surprisingly, isolation was a rather common theme for the dads in our study. There was very little participation in their local communities. What do you do with a little child all day? Hit the library? Help out at kindy or school? Invite other children over? Our solo dads did almost none of these, contributing to their isolation but also going some way in explaining just why they are so invisible in our communities even though there must be a significant number of them.
Instead the dads were brooding over money. Most of the fathers in our study were not in fulltime or even part-time employment, but work and money was high on their priority list. A majority of fathers thought that their children were missing out because they were not ‘earning as much money as a father should’, and practically all of them agreed with the statement that a good income is important to provide their children with opportunities. Only statements relating to their performance (‘I’m doing a good job’ and ‘I’m doing as well as a solo mother’) achieved even higher agreement.

Given these kinds of doubts it was perhaps logical that about half the dads would not want to be sole carers for their children if there was another way. However, there was a marked difference between dads with very young children (up to three) and those with children a little older. Blame it on paternal hormones, but those dads with babies and toddlers didn’t actually mind being solo dads, felt better accepted by society and didn’t quite think so much that their children were affected by their dismal financial situation. They didn’t have as many problems finding parenting information and were often enrolled in some kind of support service such as Early Start or Parents as First Teachers, or had a sympathetic midwife hanging around.

Even so, they were also wanting more help the most – top of the list (not counting money or employment) was ‘someone to talk to’, which almost always scored a ‘10’ for potential helpfulness on a scale from one to ten. But just about anything would do: Parenting courses, drop-in centres, a newsletter, meeting other solo dads and even ‘support groups’ were all given the thumbs up. Advocacy and legal help, while still important, ranked below any help with coping with the day-to-day job of raising little ones.

Add some of these things together, and there might be cause for some worry. If solo dads had more people to talk to, what would they talk about? Our interviews indicated that at least some are fighting hard to keep their emotions under control. When asked what they did well as dads, some answers were along the lines of ‘not flying off the handle’ and ‘keeping emotions in check’. With the kind of isolation these dads find themselves in, and the ignorance government and their agencies display about this family type, we’ll all have to keep our fingers crossed that they continue to be successful. Sometimes, of course, they aren’t.

These dads then become public symbols of male child abuse as the media feeds on the public bloodlust for harsher penalties for those who hurt children.
Not that this necessarily applies to dads. Social Development Minister Paula Bennett is one who has related her own isolation as a young solo parent on a few occasions, most recently when announcing the government’s new welfare initiatives. But even she would find it hard to argue that this is a level playing field. Solo dads fly under the radar, and from their perspective, women have it all. When asked what kind of service they would want, one of them pointedly replied: “Like what the women have. Unlimited access to any service.”

This may be more perception than reality, and a lot of the isolation solo dads find themselves in is probably self-inflicted. But even for this, we shouldn’t judge these fathers too harshly, because so many of them have very good reason to be distrustful of those saying they want to ‘help’.

Many stories we heard included false accusations made by mothers eager to cover up their own serious neglect and abuse of their children, and fathers racking up convictions and Protection Orders for abuse they have never committed. Rarely do men get as much as an apology for the wrong done to them and the hurt caused to their children, and never are those convictions and records wiped. Having their children finally placed in safety, with their fathers, rarely felt like vindication and more like a ceasefire. Often enough the nightmare had started with a midwife, Plunket nurse, early childhood educator or other professional who, innocently and with the best intentions, had ears only for the mother’s story. This goes some way in explaining why many fathers behave somewhat inhibited in public and are suspicious towards those working with families.

Even so, there were a lot of positive stories as well. Midwives, for example, drew the most polarised responses. While some fathers had nothing good to say about them and blamed them for a lot of their troubles, others reported being well looked after by them, even beyond the line of duty. Where fathers were enrolled in some specialised services such as Parents as First Teachers they also rated them very helpful, women-run as they are. But, disappointingly, Plunket services were considered less helpful on average than any other we asked about. It is ironic that midwives, who openly promote themselves as a women’s service, seem to do a lot more for solo fathers than the ‘family’ agency Plunket.

How any of this impacts on the children is another issue we can only speculate about. The fathers themselves considered their children happy and popular with others, and few felt that there were issues with anger or destruction. They weren’t so sure about self-esteem, though, and many felt their children were ‘underachieving’. It would require a lot more in-depth research to find out how children in these situations fare emotionally, and how they cope in a societal environment that continues to deny mother absence.

The fathers certainly seemed to go out of their way to be good parents. Pretty much all of them read to their children frequently, used time together as a reward, fed them (mostly) healthy food and had meals together. This study, like almost every other one, finds no evidence for the popular myth that fathers are the tough disciplinarians. Smacking, for example, was very unpopular with the dads and from the interviews a picture emerged of somewhat average parenting practices as far as behaviour is concerned. Penalties or rewards rarely seemed to be applied consistently, and the fathers felt guilty when they think they went overboard in telling the kids off or even ‘losing it’. There is some evidence that solo fathers especially of the very young children would, in fact, appreciate some guidance. Having access to ‘Parenting Courses’ was rated secondary in value only to ‘Having someone to talk to’ (not counting money or job), a very unusual result for fathers who, in general, tend to tell us that they prefer learning ‘on the job’.

If anything our study shows that a father’s support needs are very much a result of his circumstances, and are probably not very different from those of mothers in equivalent situations. Making solo fathers more visible, an important intention of our study, would go a long way for society to understand that the father-as-provider model simply cannot be assumed anymore. There is a danger that support systems and organisations try to adjust to the challenge of better father inclusion by developing special ‘men-friendly’ services, when probably all that is needed is to treat fathers with the same openness, respect and attitude as mothers. It’s certainly an approach that hasn’t been tried yet.

Solo dad stats from the report

Next: Engaging Dads Better

In time for Fathers Day this year we have completed our study on fathers who raise young children with no or very little input by the children’s mother. This is a usually forgotten and quite ‘invisible’ family type that seems to engage little with the communities they live in.

For more detail and the full report, see here:

For the NZ Herald report with Auckland solo dad Daniel Philips, see

here

Father & Child Trust is opening an office in Wellington to complement its offices in Auckland and Christchurch.

The Trust’s head office will remain in Christchurch and the purpose of the Wellington office is to extend Father & Child services to the Wellington region. The new local coordinator is Quentin Solomon, better known simply as Q, of Ngati Kahungunu and Ngati Porou descent. Quentin is an at-home father of two of his three children, a six year old girl and one year old boy, and lives with his wife Justine.

Father & Child Trust is funding the foray into Wellington from its own reserves, and the first task is to find the financial support to create a physical office and ongoing employment.
This is Father & Child’s second attempt in Wellington, after a separate Father & Child Trust Wellington was set up in 1998 by local dads to facilitate a forum about fathers. However, no ongoing services were established and the Trust has since been struck off the company office’s register.

No separate legal entity will be created for this new initiative which will be managed jointly with the Christchurch and Auckland offices. Father & Child’s Board of Trustees, it’s governing body, contains members from all three locations.

To contact Quentin email wellington@fatherandchild.org.nz or phone (04) 9097294

We’ve just received word that our application for $25,000 to MSD’s Community Response Fund for Auckland has been successful. The $25,000 grant recognises the importance of our work and the increased demand we are experiencing in Auckland.

Father & Child supports the ‘Income Splitting’ Bill currently before select committee. The bill would treat parents who live together as an economic unit for taxation purposes rather than tax them as individuals, as is presently the case. The present taxation system disadvantages families with only one income earner compared to a family where the same earnings are split about equally over both parents. This affects almost all parents who just had a new baby.
Father & Child believes that choices over how parents divide income earning and caring responsibilities should be tax-neutral.
The bill is not expected to make it into law as it does not have the support of either National or Labour. It was brought into parliament by United Future leader Peter Dunne under a coalition agreement with National.
Father & Child’s support for the bill does not indicate support for any political party.
Full text submission here: Submission Income Splitting

The Ministry of Social Development has produced a new resource called ‘Supporting Teen Fathers’ aimed at those working with young dads. It was developed in consultation with local researchers and practitioners, including Father & Child. The resource covers conceptualisation of a service through to delivery and evaluation. Order from MSD, ph (04) 916 3300, or contact Father & Child.

Dads might run the danger of delayed ‘crashing’ after the Canterbury Earthquake. Many of the men we have seen at Chch Father & Child recently report high anxiety levels in their partners and their children, especially daughters. Dads have taken on the role of the stable ‘rock in the storm’ for their families as the ground continues to shake regularly at night.
Experience, for example with postnatal depression, shows that fathers cope very well while a crisis is going on, but ‘crash’ when things in the family overall are improving as they have been postponing their own dealing with the situation. This sometimes leads to quite severe depression. With nerves being frayed, there is also a danger that couples fight more.
A good technique is to ‘debrief’: Talk honestly and earnestly to a trusted friend about how it all was, or come to us and we’ll ‘debrief’ you. If you’re feeling stressed already, or are arguing a lot more with your partner, it also helps a lot to talk things through.
The Chch office is open 10-2 weekdays, or by appointment, 1/369 Hereford Street, 982-2440.
Harald Breiding-Buss, Father & Child General Manager.

Dan Brown, a young father being supported by the Father & Child Trust, was interviewed on TV3 about the new “In Your Hands” DVD produced by Great Fathers.

Daniel Brown TV3 13th July 2010

(more…)

The Auckland Father & Child Trust has been granted $5,000 for a short-term project involving teen dads after having been approached by the Ministry of Youth Development. Youth Development minister Paula Bennett and local MP Peseta Sam Lotu-liga have both issued media statements about the funds (Paula Bennett here; Lotu-liga here).
Father & Child understands that the funds are part of unspent monies from the 2009 budget rather than ‘new’ funding. The money going to Father & Child appears to be the only funds from this pool tagged for teenage fathers, but some organisations working with teenage mothers in other parts of the country have also benefited.
Teenage parents have been getting a big funding boost in the 2010 budget, with government more than doubling the number of directly funded case-work positions to 19 nationwide, and special funds set aside for teen dad projects.