The Truth About Lies
Statistically, more than 75% of the accusations that are made during a divorce are untrue. They arise for several reasons:
To cause trouble for the other person or an act of pure revenge
To discredit the other person, so that they are closer to ‘winning’
A combination of the two, to show how much they are ‘in charge’

Types of Lies
Lies about drug abuse are common when relationships break down. This doesn’t necessarily mean illegal drugs, but also alcohol abuse “she always drank too much, she was embarrassing in public” to “he was addicted to painkillers, without them he became a nightmare”. Another common type of lie is about illegal behaviour. Whether its tax fraud, animal cruelty, benefits fraud, or flouting planning permission requirements – you might find yourself faced with a whole load of awful allegations that are completely untrue.
These allegations are usually a ploy to get you investigated by one or more public or legal authorities. It may be a real nuisance to have to deal with, but in the event that this does happen lies told by an ex-partner are usually very quickly exposed.

Perhaps the most common allegation is of promiscuous behaviour during the relationship. This could range from alleging internet pornography use, a string of affairs with unknown others, or an affair with someone you both knew. A high-profile example of this was when Katie Price accused Peter Andre of having an affair with his agent, and had to pay a substantial sum in damages after he brought a claim for libel in the High Court. Sometimes these allegations can be extreme, such as accusations that you took part in commercially available pornographic films or internet clips. With developments in technology, it’s very easy to see how cropped photographs and forged documents can end up being used to back up these types of lies.

If You Are Accused of a Crime
If you find yourself Falsely Accused Of A Criminal Offence, it’s very important that you know your rights. It is always illegal to falsely accuse someone of a crime, and you should not rest until you have cleared your name. Your accuser may be wasting police time, Perverting the Course of Justice or Committing Perjury – if your case ends up in court. Hopefully, none of this will ever happen to you but if it does, tell your lawyer the truth and be calm but persistent about what you know to be the correct version of events.

Improving Communication
Many couples experience poor communication before separation takes place. In some cases, communication can become almost non-existent, which creates further problems regarding custodial and property issues and agreeing effective solutions. There are, however, simple ways to improve communication and to establish shared responsibility and decision-making:
There is little point talking about bad habits, challenging behaviour and other issues that may relate to anger or frustration.
To encourage good communication it is important to listen actively and to consider the other person’s needs.
Collecting your thoughts before responding allows you to consider the best way of communicating your message, and will ensure that you do not intimate or provoke a negative response.
Learn to Appreciate
Appreciating the care and attention your ex-partner consistently shows your child/children creates a positive impression that encourages reciprocation. This in turn improves interaction and communication and encourages the development and growth of harmonious relationships.
Being tolerant of each other, regardless of previous challenges and difficulties, also enables you both to move forward in creating a more rewarding form of communication that benefits everyone
What Not to Do
As a responsible adult, it is important that you act like one whenever you are speaking to your child’s mother.
Threatening or intimating behaviour and communication – whether by telephone, email, or text – should not be used or tolerated.
Using your child/children to deliver messages or to provide you with information is also not recommended.
Making good communication a priority will ensure you pay careful attention to behaviour or questioning that may provoke a negative response. Ensuring you are attentive, supportive and willing to create positive changes will also help you maintain a positive outlook.
If All Else Fails
Couple counselling is not exclusively available to cohabiting individuals. In times of great stress, emotional difficulties and poor communication, counselling may provide you with the best solution to improving relations with an ex-partner or spouse. Using Mediation can also help couples overcome communication problems so that they are able to work together at maintaining an improved level of communication, acceptance and understanding of each other and shared circumstances.