| Issue: | 33,2005 | Page: | 17 |
|
Abstract |
Book reviews: 'Shared
Parenting' by Jill Burrett and Michael Green |
| Keywords: | Separation, Shared Parenting, Parenting, Burrett,
Green, Bruce |
| Author: |
Ron Thow & Harald
Breiding-Buss |
Two new books for
dad are coming on the market in July/August. At least I assume that
fathers are the target audience but it is hard to be sure because
apparently most books about parenting for fathers are bought (and read)
by women.
‘Shared Parenting, raising your children co-operatively after
separation’ by Jill Burrett & Michael Green (Finch) Coming in
August is an Australian book. Jill Burrett is a consulting psychologist
with a background counseling and mediation in the Australian Family
Court. Michael Green is lawyer, specializing in mediation and family
conferences.
Tackling the weighty subject of post-separation child-raising
is not for the faint-hearted. The authors approach is low key and
problem-solving, offering straightforward, practical tips and
strategies to help make co-parenting work. Most of all the book is
optimistic, demonstrating a belief that parents can overcome separation
issues to care co-operatively for their children. The book is full of
sensible advice, sample parenting plans and straightforward checklists
that will benefit parents who find themselves having to make parenting
decisions at an emotionally difficult and
stressful time. The core message in the book is that shared agreements
need to be child-focussed , not adult-centred to succeed and overcome
separation issues. The authors introduce the subject by reviewing some
of the more common myths surrounding shared-parenting, such as
‘children need to be based in one stable home’ and torpedoing them with
the results of both recent research and common sense.
A valuable toolbox for separating couples dealing with shared
parenting decisions. Ron Thow
The same can not be
said for ‘How to be a great dad’ by Ian Bruce (Foulsham).
I would find it hard to imagine a more off-putting title for a start,
but the frequent repetition of the phrase ‘great dad’ on any randomly
chosen page is guaranteed to make you want to put it back on the shelf
right away if you happen across it while browsing your local bookstore.
I also couldn’t help imagining giving my wife a book called ‘How to be
a great mum’ for Mothers Day and guessing which part of my body she
would hit me with it..
The advice contained in the book is a mix of teaching general
communication skills and the trivial. It assumes, for example, that the
average man is uncertain and uncomfortable about talking about sex with
children, or has to be told to love his child unconditionally. Like
many other books before it, ‘How to be’ reduces life to a checklist,
including those moments where you are allowed to look after yourself.
I’d like to think that fathers
have moved on a long time ago from needing a ‘how to’ guide , but I
might be wrong. As with most parenting books though it might hit a mark
somewhere because of a specific situation you may find yourself in. Harald
Breiding-Buss