Issue:

6, 1999

Page:

5

Abstract:

Keywords:

Familes.

When I was at home, two years ago now, I spent a lot of time with my friends.  We’d catch up on the gossip and philosophise on life and love. 

Recently we moved to a new town and a new job.  I have acquaintances but not the female soulmates with young toddlers of my home-maker days.

Sometimes I envy Alan because he gets to share all those special moments, but then I remember what it was like when the kids had a bad day or I was going up the wall wanting to talk to another adult.

Alan has it tough because he doesn’t have soulmates to meet at Plunket or Kindy.  The Plunket Nurse rang the other night and asked my husband if she could speak to Mrs Jones.  When I came on the phone I referred her back to Alan.  He tells me that sort of thing is the norm for him.

A man is less likely to admit it if he is not coping  for fear of being doubly judged.

Some women at work still believe I take primary responsibility for my kids.  They tell me they bet I still have to go home and cook tea and clean the house.  I don’t!  My husband does all that in between getting Ryan to Kindy, answering to Grace, and fixing the garage door.

My mother still thinks Alan does this as a stop gap until he finds a “real” job.  On the whole I am happier working and I think Alan does a great job at home.

Sometimes though I want to be the one to go to Playgroup or to support Ryan on his first day at a new Kindy.

But then, I guess that’s how most parents feel, mother or father, when they have to go out to work.